The Weekly Dis
A punchless Blue Jackets offense sputters. A classy Evan Bush retires. And Halloween on Bryden Road. Oh my!
(Note: I'll be over at the soccer orchard by the shores of the mighty Olentangy today, Saturday, to cover the Crew's penultimate game of the MLS regular season and their home finale against D.C. United. A big game on Fan Appreciation Day. As I did last week, I will once again be posting on Sunday rather than Monday morning (and once again I'll repost and re-mail the newsletter Monday a.m., if I remember).
Blue Jackets' offense lacks red blood cells
As of Friday, the Blue Jackets ranked 29th in the NHL in goals/game with 2.45. Only Calgary (2.33), Chicago (2.08) and Philadelphia (1.93) had offenses that were more anemic.
Over at The Athletic early this week, Aaron Portzline posted a piece about "relentless, irritating puck hound" Conor Garland. Porty writes:
That version of Garland is missing, as the 30-year-old forward will carry a career-high 17-game pointless streak into Tuesday night’s game in Philadelphia, including nine games this season with all zeroes beside his name.
“You never want to get off to a start like this,” Garland said. “If we were winning a lot more, it’d be a lot easier to stomach, but it’s tough when there’s a couple of tight games and you don’t produce anything for your team.
“It’d be nice to get going here on this road trip.”
On Tuesday, the Blue Jackets beat the Flyers in Philadelphia, 3-2 in overtime. Excellent first period, then they hung on. On Thursday, the Jackets lost to the Hurricanes in Carolina, 3-2 in regulation. Down early against the defending Stanley Cup champions, solid third period, fell short.
The Jackets are 5-6-0 heading into their game in Dallas Saturday night. They haven't won in regulation since opening night 30 days ago. Goodness, where would they be without Kent Johnson in games that've gone beyond regulation?
Garland, in the first year of a six-year contract that pays him $6 million per year, is still searching for his first point. He has a 19-game pointless streak dating back to last season. Yowza.
Garland is the poster boy for one of the lowest-scoring teams in the league, which is to say he is symbolic of a wider problem. Sean Monahan has one goal. Last season, a wrist injury left him with a weak shot. This season? Dmitri Voronkov, three times a healthy scratch, has zero goals and two assists in eight games. Valeri Nichushkin has one goal, against the St. Louis Blues on Oct. 10. Matthew Knies hasn't potted a goal since his brace on opening night.
All of them have played among the top six forwards, or have been spotted among that group, or are expected to contribute at that level. And it's not like we're talking about a small sample here. The Jackets have played 11 games. By the end of the weekend, a full one-seventh of their season will be over.
There are some bright spots. We've all talked about how one or two or three of the young players had to pop for the Jackets to be any kind of threat for a playoff spot. Johnson has seven goals and 11 points. Adam Fantilli, who missed camp, has four goals and six points, and he's just starting to warm up. Colle Sillinger has six points.
And Denton Mateychuk, a Disrespected Media favorite, has four goals and five points – not bad for a 22-year-old defenseman. For the love of Coffey, get that young man signed to a contract extension ASAP.
What does one make of Zach Werenski? He has nine assists, which is very Z-like. He has zero goals, which is very Zarley Zalapski-like. Werenski, the defending Norris Trophy winner, has scored 20 goals in each of the past two seasons. His current drought is the longest he has ever gone to start a season; his previous high was six games.
Brian Hedger noted as much over at the Big D and threw out some (mostly rhetorical) questions:
Does he really want to play with the Blue Jackets, who have opted to leave their captaincy open rather than give it to Werenski? Is he merely biding his time until Waddell finds a different trade with an approved team? Are the Blue Jackets still getting from Werenski what they got in the first 10 years of his NHL career?
It's fair to ask.
The Reign of Terror is apoplectic, but then, Tim's passion can be difficult to contain.
It's still early. To my eye, the Jackets are playing better, in part because they have a low bar to clear after some truly embarrassing performances earlier this month. Dallas will be a bear. Can the Union Blue surprise us? Can coach Rick Bowness have anything else up his sleeve?
I'm beginning to spider-sense that a roster shakeup might be necessary before long, even if it's just a small jolt. You?
Adieu Evan Bush, a first-rate professional and class act
On Thursday, Crew goalkeeper Evan Bush, 40, announced his retirement on social media:
"Eighteen years ago I chased a dream of being a professional soccer player. A dream that seemed untouchable as a kid growing up in Northeast Ohio. Today, after years of living that dream, I am announcing my decision to (finally) call it a career on the field at the end of the 2026 season. To start in Ohio and end here has been a part of the dream that even I couldn't have envisioned.
"While I am hopeful for a strong finish to this regular season and a long postseason run, I wanted to let everyone know my intentions at this point so I can move forward through the remaining weeks with joy and a true appreciation for what is left.
"As there are so many people in my life, current and past, who deserve much more than a simple 'thank you' in this announcement, I will put off any truly reflective posts until the season actually ends. Until then, I look forward to enjoying every day I have left on the field."
Bush played 15 MLS seasons with Montreal, Vancouver and Columbus. He made 196 appearances, played 17,546 minutes, posted two shutouts (both with the Crew) and stopped 67.48% of the shots that were sent at his net. (Comparison: Crew starter Patrick Schulte this season has stopped 67.3% of shots on goal.)
When he met the media Friday morning, Bush was forced to get truly reflective. Here's a chunk of it:
To watch the video is to understand that Bush is the kind of player and person that any team wants on its roster, or in its vicinity. Another of that ilk, Gyasi Zardes, who announced his retirement last month, popped by the Crew's training facility for a visit – and to pat Bush on the back – Friday morning. Zardes walked in with his son only minutes before the above video was recorded.
This week in Discasting
I was looking forward to recording an episode of Cannon Balls with guest Sean Burke, who played 18 NHL seasons as a goaltender and went on to an equally notable career as a goaltending coach/executive. But Burke had to postpone at the last minute because there was a sick child in his house. Yes, even the director of goaltending for the Las Vegas Golden Knights has those days.
Burke plans to bring his brainpower to the pod next week. We need it.
Neil Sika extended his lead in number of appearances on The Crewcible with his eighth sit-down. He set up the Crew-D.C. game, the playoff races, and Decision Day for us. Sika, a former longtime voice of the Crew, is one of the best play-by-play voices MLS has on Apple TV, it says here.
Halloween on Bryden Road
As many of you know, the family and I moved last month. And yes, there are still boxes everywhere. Before we even settled in, preparations for Halloween – and I'm talking about MAJOR preparations – were already underway up and down the block. This was six weeks ago.
At one point, we got a flyer under the door. It instructed us that, on Beggars Night, the block would be closed from 4:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. and that all cars would have to be removed during those hours. It also suggested that we'd need 1,500 pieces of Halloween candy for trick-or-treaters.
I had a slight notion that Halloween was big in my new neighborhood – nobody who drives on the East Side at this time of year is unaware, due to the massive decorations on the front lawns of houses on this particular block of Bryden Road.
We still figured that 1,500 pieces of Halloween candy – with a price tag commensurate to that of a tank of gas for a Ford F-350 Super Duty – couldn't be real.
We ran out of 700 pieces of candy at 7 p.m.
It was crazy. Good crazy. Thousands of people. Kids everywhere. No cars. If you look at Jenny's post below, and you look behind her and the Mad Hatter and the Irish setter, you can make out a live band on the balcony behind them.
When you get your 2027 calendars, make a note: The 1100 block of Bryden is worth a trip on Beggars Night, especially if you have kids. I shot a couple of videos from a second-floor porch. In the second one (when it was dark), you can see across the street a flying saucer with the president below it, being beamed up. 'Twas just one of a score of crazy sights to be seen along this quarter-mile fun house.
This is how the 1100 block of Bryden Rd. Rolls on beggar’s night. #CBus
— Michael Arace (@michaelarace1.bsky.social) October 29, 2026 at 6:23 PM
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We ran out of candy, which costs more than gas now.
— Michael Arace (@michaelarace1.bsky.social) October 29, 2026 at 7:01 PM
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We were there yesterday
— Jenny of Ohio (Not Florida) (@jennyofohio.bsky.social) October 30, 2026 at 8:02 AM
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