The MLS Ponzi scheme shakedown expands to Vancouver
All of Columbus is rooting for the Whitecaps
There was a phrase that was thrown around when Major League Soccer conspired with the then-owner of the Crew to move the franchise out of Ohio's capital and take it south, to Texas' capital.
The phrase was "parallel paths," as in: "Columbus is a failed, inconsequential market and, if Columbus doesn't come up with everything we want, including a ridiculous amount of money, then owner Anthony Precourt will continue to pursue a parallel path to Austin. And he'll get there. Because this game is fixed."
Those are my words between the quotes, although MLS commissioner Don Garber did describe Columbus – at the time the spiritual home of the USMNT – as "inconsequential." (For those who are unfamiliar with the history, search "Dos a Cero" to understand what I mean by "spiritual home of the USMNT.")
"Parallel paths" was a myth perpetuated by powerful and powerfully selfish people. The path was never parallel – it was perpendicular. Precourt, Garber and the league apparatus didn't lift a finger to help save the Crew – but they worked like hell to get the franchise moved to Austin. That's what they wanted, for two reasons:
One: Precourt bought the Crew in 2014 with the express purpose of moving the franchise out of Ohio. Period. He wanted to move the team to Austin because he has Texas roots (daddy's oil money) and, as far as he remembered, he had his bachelor party in Austin. If he had to leave a smoldering crater in Central Ohio to get his way, well, that wouldn't bother one minute of his repo-baby sleep. Brah.
Two: MLS is a Ponzi scheme. The league long maintained its financial viability, such as it was, through expansion. The Board of Governors would meet, look at the bottom line, start a bidding war for one or two new franchises, rake in the expansion fees, and distribute the earnings amongst themselves. Then they'd all exchange yachts for Christmas.
In the case of Columbus, the Ponzi scheme had a wrinkle – extortion. You've got to give the league credit for it. The Soccer Don ultimately made Columbus an offer it couldn't refuse. He eats fish wrapped in newspaper for breakfast.
A grassroots movement, #SaveTheCrew, sprang up immediately. It grew mitotically. Their cause got big enough to become good politics, and then leaders from the business community and every level of government – municipal, county, state – climbed aboard. It helped that Precourt, an absentee owner, and Garber, who loves Miami, were roundly despised by everyone here. Why? Because every time either of them opened their mouths, bovine fecal material spewed forth.
Among the cards #SaveTheCrew had to play was an Ace, the so-called "Art Modell Law," which was put on the books in 1996 after Cleveland Browns owner Art Modell moved his storied franchise to Baltimore.
Basically, what the Modell Law said was that if the owner of a pro sports franchise took a dime of taxpayer money and wanted to move the franchise, two provisions must be adhered to: the owner must give the affected jurisdiction six months to find local owners to buy the team, OR the owner must reach an agreement with the jurisdiction to move the team.
(In a twist of irony that threatens the very life of irony: Haslam Sports Group, which was able to buy a majority stake in the Crew in large part thanks to the Modell Law, has convinced the state legislature to adjust the law for the purpose of moving the Browns out of Cleveland. But we can't spare the time to jam chisels into our eye sockets right now.)
In 2018, the Modell Law, Ohio Revised Code 9.67, pumped the brakes on the Crew-to-Austin move. The city and state used O.R.C. 9.67 to sue Precourt and MLS. The case didn't quite make it to the discovery phase – oh, how delicious that would've been – but the litigation slowed everything down and gave Columbus time to find a new ownership group.
Garber extorted the terms: The new owners – the Haslam and Edwards families – would have to pony up the going rate for an expansion fee ($150 million at the time) and build a new, state-of-the-art stadium in world-record time. Precourt, who has the intellectual and emotional depth of a rhododendron, was granted an expansion franchise, essentially for free, in Austin. This, for a guy who once stole a horse.
When it was all over, Garber said, “(What) was missing was a local owner, a plan for a new stadium and some new energy that would bring this team back to the brand glory that it had in the early days. That’s what we have today. That’s what we’re celebrating today. ... It was worth the trauma."
You see, Garber really did care about Columbus. He cared so much that, when, on Jan. 9, 2019, I asked him when he last visited our fair city ... he couldn't remember. Some USA-Mexico game or another. He forgot which.
This is the man who talked "parallel paths" and "new energy" and "brand glory" – and during #SaveTheCrew, he didn't even bother to stop by until it was all over, and the shakedown was complete.
Fight, Vancouver, fight!
Sportsnet 650
I'm trying to do my bit, and I'm also booking Morgan Hughes on any station that wants to have the former #SaveTheCrew spokesperson (and host of failed ACES Radio) on the air.
The situation with the Vancouver Whitecaps is not exactly the same.
The Whitecaps have been for sale since late 2024. Their lease at B.C. Place, which is government-owned, runs out at the end of the year. They have drawn well. They have had considerable success – they were finalists in CONCACAF Champions Cup and MLS Cup competitions last year – but, economically speaking, they are what the Crew were in 2018 – an easy target for a visit from a protectionist.
Kevin Charach
I'm going to lean on Paul Tenorio and Tom Bogert from The Athletic, who have done most of the news-breaking on this story this week.
A special committee of Major League Soccer owners met earlier this month to discuss and evaluate the future of the Vancouver Whitecaps, including the possibility of relocation, sources briefed on the conversations told The Athletic.
A move to Las Vegas was the chief option discussed at the meeting, according to the sources, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to comment publicly. MLS has had discussions with a group looking to bring a team to the market, the sources said.
If you're from Columbus and you read the Whitecaps' response to The Athletic's story, you had some terrible flashbacks to the Precourt regime:
“We are aware of today’s reporting. The club has faced well-documented structural challenges around stadium economics, venue access, and revenue limitations that have made it difficult to attract buyers committed to keeping the team in Vancouver. Over the past 16 months, we have had serious conversations with more than 100 parties, and to date, no viable offer has emerged that would keep the club here. … If there is a local ownership group with the vision and resources to chart a path forward, we urge them to come forward.”
I doubt the league will ever again use the phrase, "parallel paths," and not because it's a load of horse hockey, but because they had it tattooed on their arses by the time they got through with Columbus.
But, man, all the other buzzwords are there – "structural challenges" and "stadium economics, venue access and revenue limitations." These words are right out of, "How to Move a Team for Dummies."
What scares me is the muck in that last sentence about an "ownership group with the vision and resources to chart a path forward..."
The Whitecaps bought into MLS by paying a $35-million expansion fee in 2011. The club is estimated to be worth around $445 million. Relative to the rest of the league, they're low in revenue and low in valuation. Low-hanging fruit.
Greg Kerfoot, a software magnate and multimillionaire, leads an ownership group that includes basketball Hall of Famer Steve Nash. I don't doubt that these owners want what is best for Vancouver, and nor do I doubt that they can smell a gigantic return on their investment. Hundreds of millions. U.S.
Vegas has plans for a $10-billion development on the Strip that includes a 50,000-seat soccer stadium. Kerfoot could sell the team, get a luxury box in Vegas out of the deal – and go down there and make it rain, baby.
Sign the wall
At the next Board of Governors meeting, Jimmy Haslam is highly likely to vote "Hell yeah, I'm for the move to Vegas, because business metrics! Flyin' J!"
In other words, it's Ponzi Time.
But I want Vancouver Whitecaps fans to know that everyone from #SaveTheCrew – which includes scores of business partners, big-business muckety mucks, politicians of every greasy stripe and tens of thousands of everyday schmucks who love the game, grew up with MLS, and were passionate about the Crew – are behind you.
I'm sure Nathan and Joel Demian and Deylen Vellios, who went from the Whitecaps Academy to Ohio State, will be fighting at your side.
Just to mention a few of us.
I'm going to stay away from words and phrases like, "public trust" and "civic pride" and "heritage," although they apply.
This is a money play, and you've got to fight like Sebastian Berhalter – son of the man who was coaching the Crew during #SaveTheCrew – to win.
You're going to need a benefactor, hopefully someone who will embrace a Modell Law and not have government lackeys rewrite it.
The benefactor is going to need to build a new stadium and, to do it, help will be required from people who have political power (not to mention politicians).
The benefactor is going to have to endure the shakedown, by your side. You have to care that half of what current ownership and the league are telling you isn't true. But the benefactor has to eat it. Don't worry. It'll get digested.
Millionaires and billionaires buy teams for two reasons – tax write-offs and valuations. When they say, "revenue limitations," you say, "show me your books." When they say, "stadium economics," you count up every person that has walked through the turnstiles since 2011 and paint the number, like a mural, on the side of a building. #SaveTheCrew did that stuff here. Viva yo!
You're going to have to give in to Garber's extortionist demands, but there is an upside. You can boo him whenever he shows up in your beautiful city. Boo him mercilessly. It's cathartic. And don't worry about him, because the Board of Governors loves his ass, and that's all he cares about.
It's difficult. You can lose. I covered the Hartford Whalers from 1995-97. But it can be done. You can win. I covered the Crew.
Godspeed, Vancouver. I love your city, and your team. And Seb.
Fight on.
Next up: One Knox in the U.S. Open Cup
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Michael Arace
