An exit interview with Darlington Nagbe, world-class human being
"If I ever have grandchildren and they ask me about soccer in the United States, I will tell them I played with him." --Diego Valeri on Darlington Nagbe
MLS/USMNT insider Tom Bogert, citing sources, on Monday night broke the news that Darlington Nagbe was retiring at the end of the season. Columbus Crew fans, after a giant, collective spit-take, started weighing in. As soon as the beloved captain takes off the armband, there will be a chasm in the Crew's midfield and a hole in the heart of the city. The word "rebuild" flitted about the social channels.
Nagbe is one of those 35-year-olds who looks like he could play until he's 40. His peers often cite him among the most underrated players in the league, but those who have played with him, and those who have watched him with any regularity, never underrate him. He has put an individual stamp on the hybrid No. 6 position he plays. Under Wilfried Nancy, he is the Crew's steering wheel, accelerator and breaking system, impossible to dispossess.
He is also one of the great winners in the history of U.S. soccer:
At the University of Akron, he won an NCAA title and the Hermann Trophy, designating the best player in college soccer; he has won four MLS Cups with three different teams, Portland, Atlanta and Columbus; he has won two Campeones Cups, one U.S. Open Cup and, representing his adopted country, a CONCACAF Gold Cup with the USMNT.
Former Portland teammate, Diego Valeri – one of the greatest players in MLS history – called Nagbe "the sun." Valeri said, "If I ever have grandchildren and they ask me about soccer in the United States, I will tell them I played with him."
Darlington pic.twitter.com/xD9RzSv3EO
— Diego Valeri (@DiegoDv8) December 3, 2023
He could play until he's 40, or beyond. Right? He's the Nagbeast. Why hang it up now? The Disrespected put the question to him during an interview at the Crew's training facility Wednesday morning.
In a word, his answer was "family."
"I just wanted to be home more," Nagbe said. "I'm tired of traveling on weekends. ... For me, the biggest thing was just not being present. During the week, I get the opportunity to pick buy kids up at school and take them to training and everything. But when they really want me there is on the weekends, during their games, cheering them on. My daughter's traveling now for games, so I can help my wife with those things, and just be present. They enjoy me being at their games and my wife enjoys my company and spending time together, so those were the main things that drove me to this decision."
Now, we've all heard a million times, "I'm stepping down to spend more time with the family." It's a line coaches use when their shelf life is expired and they need to move on to another job. They say, "I'm stepping down to spend more time with the family," and, meanwhile, their agent is already burning up the phone lines, looking for the next job. One month later, they're at an introductory press conference, in a new city, and they say their divorce was amicable and they really, really missed coaching.
That is not Nagbe.
If you know him, or of him, you understand how he values family. You've seen his smile a million times, but if you only see the full wattage of it when his kids run onto the field and into his arms after a game. You have little doubt that he's actually intent on spending more time with his family – wife Felicia, whom he met at Akron, daughter Mila and sons Kingston and Isaiah ("Zeke").
Nagbe's thoughts of retiring congealed the first week of July.
"It was around my son's birthday," Nagbe said. "Our trip over to Seattle (for a July 6 game against the Sounders), I sat on that flight and thought about the sacrifices I've made so far, that I continue to make. Is it worth it to continue to miss out on weekends with the family to pursue this? I just came to the conclusion that it wasn't."
He told Crew GM Issa Tall and coach Wilfried Nancy.
" I didn't let the club know until probably August, I think in the middle of League's Cup," Nagbe said. "Issa, I'd say he was sad. It's weird because we're around the same age, so for him, it's not just a player and a coworker – he's my friend. He's part of the reason I'm here, as well. My relationship with him has only grown and gotten better. ... Wilfried, I think he just understands people. His biggest thing was he wanted to make sure I was comfortable and at peace with the decision."
He is.
The thrill is gone
Nagbe played seven seasons in Portland and two in Atlanta. He is in his sixth season with the Crew. In MLS competition, his teams have a combined record of 209-140-139 with him on the roster. That's a 1.56-point average and a .523 points percentage. And then there are all the trophies.
Nagbe is more about the process than the destination, which may be one secret to his consistent excellence. His process hasn't changed but, curiously, he began to notice this season that the destination was different. He found himself landing an an uncomfortable position.
"I take – we all do – training and preparing for training very seriously," Nagbe said. "Even though the game is on Saturday, how I prepare for the week is just as important to me. Then, you have the game itself. I'm not one who gets caught up in the results. I expect to play well and the team to play well. And if we don't play well, you're more upset.
"I started to lose the excitement in enjoying the wins, you know? I was more focused on ... if we lost, I was pissed, and if we won, I expected that. So, you lose getting that high you should get from always competing and winning and doing well."
In 444 career MLS games, Nagbe has made 428 starts, spent 37,060 minutes on the field, scored 38 goals and dimed out 34 assists. He came into the league as an attacker, and while his value (and his genius) was realized as a midfield chess master, his offensive skills still lurked. Look at the above video. Nothing but bangers. Twice did Nagbe score the MLS Goal of the Year.
"Something you've done for so long is ending, but there's a kind of weight that comes off," Nagbe said. "When you compete for so long – 15 years, I've been competing, not just in the games, but in training, traveling and everything else like that – I'm missing out on certain things that I enjoy at home. I'll miss my teammates and the relationships, but I don't know how much I'll miss the games. I'll miss competing every day, but I'm definitely looking forward to have more time and weekends at home."
He counts the 2023 season as his most memorable. It was Nancy's first season in Columbus. The roster was retrofitted, the systems were overturned and the plan came together with a run to the MLS Cup.
"Obviously, there was the championship and everything like that," Nagbe said. "But I think the way it happened in 2023 ... To put that group together and play the way we played was something.
"You know, we hosted (and won the Cup) in 2020. The (old) stadium wasn't full (because COVID). I wasn't able to play in that final (because COVID). In 2023, we packed the stadium. I was able to play after I missed the previous one. My kids were old enough to remember it. All their memories of the Crew are attached to that season."
That's the bow on his career.
"Yeah."
Oh, the humanity
A year ago, Nagbe wrote a piece for "The Players' Tribune" and it begins, "The only reason I'm alive is because of two random, unlikely acts of kindness."
He went on to describe his pregnant mother wandering through the war-torn streets of Monrovia, Liberia, when she was accosted by rebel soldiers. She thought she was going to die. Instead, the soldiers took her to a nearby home where, with the help of the midwife who lived there, Darlington was brought into this world on July 19, 1990.
"I wrestle with that story to this day," Nagbe writes. "Those rebels easily could have killed my mother. But for whatever reason, there was a kindness in their hearts, and they decided to help her. They spared her life and gifted me the opportunity to have mine.
"I still wonder why."
Nagbe's mother made it out of Liberia. His father was a professional soccer player and the family bounced around Europe, wherever Joe Nagbe's career took them. Nagbe's parents split up when he was 11. Mom wanted the kids to be educated in the U.S., and she moved with them and he moved to East Cleveland.
Nagbe couldn't have been more out-of-place, and lonely. What saved him was the game. He found friendship, camaraderie and an extended family playing for the Cleveland Internationals. He came to love Ohio because of this. He won a national title with Caleb Porter in Akron. And while he collected MLS Cups in Portland and Atlanta, his dream was to play for the Crew.
Darlington Nagbe
Nagbe was granted his wish to come home in late 2019. He and his wife wanted to raise their kids in Central Ohio, among a large, extended family. They made game days into reunions.
Nagbe has long been involved in any number of charitable endeavors, especially with the Boys & Girls clubs. He feels and incumbency to tell the story of his miraculous birth, followed by a vagabond early childhood, followed by roots in Cleveland – and the loneliness he experienced until he was embraced by a greater soccer family.
"I definitely want to help out with the club, be present with whatever they have going on," Nagbe said. "We have the chance to be present in the community when we're playing, but maybe not as much as I'd like. But not playing anymore, I'd definitely love to help on that side of things, whether it's with the club or any other organization, just telling my story and seeing how it can help people."
There's a bit more work yet to do. The Crew will honor Nagbe at the regular-season finale, against the New York Red Bulls at Lower.com Field on Decision Day, Saturday, Oct. 18. (Details on the tribute are still being worked out.) The Crew have locked down a playoff spot, most likely a wild-card. Is there any of that 2023 magic left in this team? We shall see. With Nagbe, one of the great winners in the history of the league, anything is possible.
Any last words?
"Just, thank you," Nagbe said. "My teammates, coaches, the organization, supporters, the community – just thank you for welcoming me home, and supporting me. I've just been happy to be a part of it here, lifting trophies."
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Michael Arace
